I love my boyfriend so much and i think that a part of him has feelings for some one else and it really hurts but he denies it and i really do believe him but i am just so sick of all the shit that is going around and everyone thinks that i am after David this guy but am not i am just his friend and i think that some times my boyfriend does not trust me and that really hurts me as i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him as i have sacrafised alot to be with him but they are sacrafises i am willing to make as he is my hole world and i would do anything for him. I know that a part of him really does love me and am trusting that he will never hurt me or break the love i have for him i just wish that there was something i could tell him and he would never tell anyone else as nearly every thing i tell him always gets to surtain other people and then it gets back to me and it hurts because i really trusted him and he tells others and it really hurts me alot well i need to go as i am now very confussed. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
hey every one i am so happy guess what i love Xander :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) Aint it cool to just smile
well my holidays pretty much sucked as there was a fair bit of conflict between me and others in my family and it really made most of my holidays a living hell. There were a few good things that had happened in my holidays like i went to port Augasta to see my new born niece and she was so cute i also got to see my coussins in which i had not seen in over 6 months i even got to see my nanna and my pappa and you know what the best part was i got take my boyfriend with me too and that ment that i didn't really have to miss him which is all good and the other good part was that i think that my family liked him and that is so great i mean my family don't like many people but they seeme dto like him but my Aunty Rachel still does not like him as i think that she is scared for me that my heart will be broken once again as she was there when my first boyfriend MICHAEL BOWLY had broken my heart and i guess that hurt her to see me that way but i really hate him now as he is always there to fuck up my life even with my most recent boyfriend we lasted 6 DAYS. My second boyfriend JACK MONGAHAN well lets just say that i have had a crush on him since year 9 and i guess he gave me a chance and well we lasted 2 MONTHS and 6 DAYS and i guess that had broken my heart as i had had the the biggest crush on him BUT now i have my NEW great boy friend and i know that he raell loves me and i am so proud of that i just wish that my aunty could see what i see i honestly think he is the one and hope that i am right. Anyway back to the holidays i think that the last week of the holidays were pretty good i really enjoyed taht as i got to spend time with my boyfriend ALEXANDER Mc CONNELL and i love him so much well i am gonna stop dribbling as whom ever reads this would be getting very bord. :) But i guess one more thing don't forget it never hurts to smile !!!!!!!!!!!
well yes i am always in pain i am always crying and i think that no one is able to help me and i am always running away from my problems and i face everyone elses as they are always coming to me for advice in how to fix them and i always seem to have the answers but when it comes to my own problems i am always running away and my whole life is an act what i mean by this is that when i am with people meaning my friends and family i show the happy little girl every one wants to see :D and i am so sick of it but i am so use to the act that it just happens what i am really feeling is alot of hurt :cry: , anger :x , confussion :oops: and some times i don't think that life is worth living at all :( .
But if i look on the other side of things i do have a boyfriend who may i add really does love me i don't understand why i am a BITCH and i also am one great big SLUT in my opinion as i cheated on him at my 18th Birthday party with my ex boyfriend i don't know why and i don't blame the alcahole because that is no excuse i just don't know what happened and if i could i would change it but i can't my boyfriend said that he does forgive me but he always seems to bring it up and that really hurts but i guess he may never forgive me even if he says he does i'm sorry i don't think he does and i don't expect him to as i deserve all i get i guess.
Well any way my friend sstill hate me and to be honest i don't give a shit any more as i am sick of what others think as right now i am going through my own shit at this current stage any way need to leave and really hate to but i have to so till next time BYE
Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
